Fuck Yes or Hell No aka Owning Your Desires
So last time we talked about saying no to the friend zone. In this episode I go a little deeper into how exactly to do that. And the way you do that is by owning your desires. By saying fuck yes or saying hell no. Many times when we are unsure of what we want we give ambiguous answers and avoid making choices. This leads to confusion at best, and at worst contributes to the ever pervasive rape culture by providing ambiguous consent.
As goddesses we must own our yes’s and no’s. Goddesses know that maybe’s and I don’t know’s are future projections. When we answer something with a maybe, it is likely that we have future projected to a question that we cannot possibly answer right now. So the cure is to bring oneself back to the present and be willing to ask a question that CAN be answered right now. It is impossible to know for certain something about what one has not experienced. So if you are saying maybe or I don’t know, it is likely that you are trying to know something you cannot know.
The better thing to do is to find a question in the present moment that can be given a present answer. Find a question that can be given a clear yes or a clear no. If something is not a clear fuck yes, then it’s a no. And if something is not a clear hell no, then there is a yes somewhere in there that needs to be found. If someone is offering you something that you want a part of but not other parts, negotiate with this person by being clear about what you want and what you don’t want. You may find that what is being offered can be clarified and revised so that it is either a fuck yes or a hell no. If at anytime you feel unsure or ambiguous about something, you must have a clear and honest conversation until all parts are a yes, or all parts are a clear no.